You don't hear stories like this everyday with Jay Mbiro
Today is such a treat, because you’re going to get to hear from my friend in Kenya, Jey. We’re having this conversation today because we need some perspective, and that comes best for me when I hear other people’s stories. It helps me remember I can do hard things, because other people do hard things every single day. I think this is going to be super encouraging for you!
Let's start with where you were born and what the context of those early years look like for you.
I was born in a place called Mathare in Nairobi, Kenya. In a square mile there would be like, a million people living there. The houses are, I don’t want to say on top of each other, but they are right, right next to each other in tight spaces. I had a very big family - it was an extended family. But that’s home, and where I was born and brought up. Most kids where we were didn’t have role models growing up. The reason being we're in a community where you're born in poverty. There's a cycle of poverty and that you already born into. My family sold liquor, that was the family business and what my mom was doing. It was an illegal thing, but that's what she was selling to try and sustain the family. She would try and say, “hey, you have to help us do this because it's going to get meals. So I started being involved in making that, even when I was a little kid, and one of my hardest things growing up is going without food. I usually emphasize food, because being in America, because if there’s something I’ve noticed that there’s plenty of, it’s food. Every day, waking up, and you don’t even know where your next meal is going to come from. Even when you get that one meal, you are so grateful that you have something. But you don’t even know where the next one is going to come from.
So you had a single mother that is still alive today. Tell me about that relationship and about your siblings. What did it look like and what was your home like?
My grandmother had nine children. Being in poverty is the hardest thing, because as my grandmother, she didn't have a job. She never went to school. My grandfather died a long time ago, but my grandmother was growing up nine children. I think five of them were girls and being in a community like Mathare where people don't even get married. Most of my aunts, my mom being part of that family, they all had kids outside. My mom and I had a very good relationship. There was a time in my family, in our life, that I had a dad who was a stepfather, but he was not my real father. So at some point when he made some wrong decisions in life where he did some things to where he could not continue to stay with us. He left me and my mom and my brothers without anything. So we started going through the streets of Nairobi and we started to beg for food and money. Basically, I became a provider at the age of eight. That came with a lot of pressure. Just imagine: people would be waiting in the house for this eight year old kid to go and beg and come home with money or with food. So if I found something, we would be happy and rejoice and have a meal. But if I didn’t find anything, they would go to bed hungry. The days I didn’t find anything, I either didn’t go home, or if I went home I was so discouraged. Then that led me to, when I didn’t find anything, I started stealing and snatching things. I became a thief at the age of nine. That did not go so far because I was arrested and went to prison at that particular age. Being in prison at nine years old was the worst thing that can happen to anybody. So for me, when I was in prison, I prayed to God for two things: 1. To get me out of poverty and 2. To get me out of prison. God came through, because he is a father who hears and answers our prayers, not always in the way we expect, but he hears and answers all of our prayers. The getting out of prison part, God fulfilled that. But getting out of poverty was not easy because I still was in the same neighborhood and the same family. That’s when Compassion International came and intervened. I got a sponsor later on who walked with me through life.
Let's talk about how on earth a boy, a little boy from the slums of Africa, ends up in Atlanta at Passion City Church.
That's a God story! After I graduated from the program with Compassion, I started ministry as a DJ. I became a DJ of one of the biggest Gospel groups that was then in Kenya. What we were doing was more than just music. It was more reaching out and sharing our testimonies and bringing people to Christ. They even came to the US for tour for six months. Then we went back home to Kenya and then eventually I got a green card and basically God gave me an opportunity to come and establish what we were doing in Kenya. So when I got an opportunity to come to the US I thought, “how about I do the same among the Africans who are here?” Because one thing I realized is that unfortunately, most of the Africans who are in the US don't go to church. That's how I ended up being in the US and specifically in Atlanta. I just love Atlanta. I love the feel of Atlanta.There is a multicultural thing going on in Atlanta, and a lot of Africans are in Atlanta.
So Jey, I really want to hear your perspective on some things, because we're in the midst of a very unique season. For a lot of Americans, this is extra hard. A lot of people in the world, I shouldn't just say Americans, feel like there's a loss of anything that's normal. I would love to hear just your perspective in this time, going through 2020?
I guess in my lifetime, this is one thing that I would say: this is the hardest seasons for everybody around the world. This is not one of those things you can say, only Africa or only Asia. This is something that has hit the whole world. COVID-19 has affected families around the whole world. For me, I would say, this was a time where your family was exposed, or maybe even individually, was exposed. Who are you when crisis hits? Because one thing we have to realize is that this is common. This life happens and stuff will always happen. For me, in my family, especially anybody with kids, they understand that job will never end. So long as you have your children, nothing will change. Those kids will still want to eat, they still want to play, they still want to sleep. For me, that one continued, because actually I’m a stay at home dad. I stay with my kids on the weekdays. One of the things that I would say that has taught me is it's not obvious that you're going to be alive the next day. There are people who had a lot of dreams, a lot of promises, a lot of things they wanted to do. Right now, they’re sick or some of them are dead. So everyday we can be thankful. Anything God has given you, be thankful. If you have a plate of food, be thankful. There are people who don’t have that. So that is something that I'm hoping. Also, be caring to one another. At this particular time, especially when the announcement was made, we noticed that everything on the shelves at the supermarkets went away. The thing is, we have to care for one another. That’s something that I learned back home, because we lived as a community back home. Anytime I had something, it was not for myself only. I mentioned we used to live with my grandmother. She would make a meal and we know that this is the only meal that we have. We have kids in our family, but then there's some other kids who would come to visit who we don't even know. They probably have food at home or they don't have food in their houses. But then my grandmother would make sure that we all get equal, though they are the kids that might go and eat. But because she wasn’t sure, she learned to share. That’s something we can learn during this and continue to do that. If you have more than what you need, share with your friends. Sometimes whatever you have is just enough, but again, what can you share? 2020 is a lot to go through, but it’s taught us a lot.
Talk some more about Kenya. What do you miss? What do you love about the way people did life there?
We lived as a community to start with. Literally, that is how our community lives. One of the things that I miss about Kenya and something I learned there is respect. Respect of olders. Personally, I was brought up to respect the elders. If you are my elder, it doesn't matter whether I know you or not. I will respect you. This is how they made sure that we respected elders: if I did something wrong in my community and my parents were not around, another elderly person can come and punish me. Then they’ll come and tell my mom, and then my mom is still going to punish me for that. Being in the US, you might look at that differently. To me, what that taught me is I’m not going to misbehave just because my parents aren’t there. I will behave all the time and respect my elders. We grew up in public transportation. When you go to a bus, and I’m sitting down, and someone older or a pregnant woman, or a woman with kids comes in, there’s no way I can sit down and they are standing. People would look at me like, “are you serious?” That has taught me to respect one another and share what you have. Those are some things about my community that I miss. Being an open book, too. We live in a very tight space, so there are no secrets. I miss the sharing part and I miss the community part.
Talk about community now in your life. Has it been difficult to build close relationships here? What has it been like in the church and with your neighbors and friends to live communally?
I'm going to be honest with you. Community down here is totally different from what I was used to. One thing I realized is that in America, people would want to live by themselves. I'm blessed to have very good neighbors. My neighbors, where I live right now, they are really good neighbors because we kinda share. We don't share it as much, but at least we know each other. I need something I can ask, but it's still different because, we didn't have that personal space. If I need it, if you're my neighbor, I didn't even need to tell you I'm coming. I'll just knock and come in. So that is something that is different here. I've noticed here somebody can be hungry, and my neighbor doesn't know. I don't want them to know. That is so different. Something else that is very, very different is let's say, for example, I'm getting married. I don't have money. That's not a problem. You just call each other and say, “hey, I have a wedding.”...They give me a budget and people contribute to my wedding. Another sad thing that I saw here, I lived in California for maybe a year before I came to Georgia, and there was a wife who lost her husband. On Sunday I saw them in church and I asked my host, “why are they where? They just lost somebody.” I was like, we are the ones that are supposed to be going to their houses. If somebody dies, we don’t give them space. Because at that point they need all the love that they can get. So for us, we go into their houses. From the day that somebody is announced that they passed, there's always going to be somebody in that house until the burial and a few days or weeks after that. What that does is that it makes you think, “hey, I'm not alone in this.” This particular person, they lived their life, they had friends and I can see them come and contribute for their burial arrangement and everything that they need. We bring food to their family. So some of these things I haven't seen here. That’s a little bit about the community. It’s just being together and sharing. Most of who I’m talking about are people who are poor. People who can’t even afford stuff for themselves. You need to hold each other’s hand, and I think that’s what has strengthened our community. , that's a little bit about the community that I can talk about. It's just being together, sharing with one another and think about it. Most of what I'm talking about is people who are poor. And so if you're poor, you can't even afford stuff for yourself. So you need somebody else to kind of hold each other's hand. And I think that's what has strengthened our community. Here, there’s a sense of if you have your own job, you’ve got your own money, you can provide for yourself and you don’t need anybody. But for us, we need each other to actually survive. I need you, you need me. That really strengthens our community.
Jey, I'm writing a book right now about this, and it's about villages and how that's been what's held the fabric of the world together since the beginning of time. Even currently, a lot of the world does live in villages. So when you look back at that, I mean, my hope is that we can create this if we're intentional, even in Atlanta and even in Dallas, we can build a village type lifestyle here. What are some of the key people that made up your community in your life? You talked about elders. I know I've done a little research on this, that a lot of tribes have tribal elders that people go to for wisdom and authority. Talk to us a little bit about some of those roles that different people played. Even if that's peers or friends. What did those people look like in your life?
Let me start from the family. So the family itself, unless you don't have a father, but either your father or mother are the leaders of that family. That's where it starts because everything we have to understand, even in church, even before we talk about big gatherings, everything has to start from their family. Then it goes to the older brother, older sister, that's how it starts. If mom or dad aren’t there, older brother and sister are the leaders. Then when you get out of the house, the other neighbors who are not family members, but they’re older than you, they become the leader in that particular place. Every community then has, like you said, tribal leaders depending on the region you’re from. In Kenya, if you tell me where you’re from in Kenya, I can almost tell you your tribe because people live according to their tribe. So if you’re in that particular place, there are community leaders or tribal leaders who have been elected or selected. If there's any confrontation, if there's anything that needs to be tackled, or anything that needs to be talked about in the community. So in the house, you go to your father and mother. Outside the house, you go to those community leaders. Those leaders have power and authority. You have to listen to them. If you can not listen to the community leaders, most governments had a chief. A chief was kind of in charge of that region. So if you can not listen to the community leaders, the chief is the final authority.
I had like four to eight layers of leadership over you as a child. You felt accountable to all of those people?
Depending on where you are and depending on the issue, you're going to feel responsible. For example, say there’s a burglar who comes and steals. The cops are far away, so the community leaders can literally come to your house, because they know your parents, and say, “your child stole this and this, we need them to bring them back.” Then if they get ahold of you, they’ll take you to the chief. If you’re able to return what you stole, they’ll let you go. But again, they can take you to the cops. Depending on where you are, different leaders are going to handle whatever it is.
Talk about your life in Atlanta, because I know while it probably grieves you a little to not have that type of community in your life here, do you think it's possible? Are we ruined in America with too much stuff and how we've separated? Do you think we can intentionally choose this? If so, how does your family do that?
I think we can. I don't think there's anything that is impossible. It's just a matter of having people who are of one mind and one vision and one voice. If you go to the Bible, when they were building the Tower of Babel, that’s what they were doing. They were speaking in one language. The moment a group of people come together and they are of one mind, it’s possible. For us, being in Atlanta, like I said it has so many people from different countries and cultures. It's hard to impose something on other people. What we have done as Africans, as Kenyans, who are here, we kind of have our own community. Not as big as back home, but we have our community that we still try to keep some of those traditions. If somebody passes on, we have a way of contributing towards that. When people get married, we all go. You should come to one of our weddings! They’re very traditional. The older women or women who have been married before come and sing to the bride as she walks in. There’s some things we are still maintaining, even though we’re here. It's a little bit challenging, but again, since we have our community or we have our own churches, we have our own kind of leaders, it's not as defined as it was back there. So we have a little bit of that. So we have some of that going on, but it's not as good as we want it to be.
I want to talk about your family and your ongoing relationship with Kenya and specifically with Compassion, because we have a dream here at the podcast, that we would be able to sponsor a lot of kids. I know Jey, that has to be really near and dear to your heart. So why don't you just talk just a minute about why you believe in that stuff?
That's the reason that I'm here right now. It’s because of that. My family loved me so much and they wanted the best for me. But the truth of the matter is when they had, let me just use the dollar, they will not debate whether they're going to buy food or they're going to take me to school. For the most part, we're going to buy me food. Because that's the most urgent need. School is important, but food was the most urgent need. Many families are having to decide between a “now need” and a “lifetime need.” It's not something that anybody should have to choose between. I think people should be able to have that opportunity. Because my family is not able to do that for me, it doesn't mean I shouldn’t have it. So having somebody somewhere say, “hey, God has blessed me a little bit and I can spare a little bit.” I know not everyone is a millionaire. I know people have to sacrifice, especially at this particular time. Anybody deciding to sponsor now, it speaks more of their character, more than how much they have, because you might not know how long you’ll have a job, or if you will even have a job. That speaks volumes. You might not have what you want to have, but you’re willing to sacrifice to sponsor a kid. Because for me, that was life and death. When I go back to Kenya, I go back and forth, and I can’t find the kids I grew up with. They’re either in prison or they’re dead. This is personal for me, because it gave me my life. I don’t even want to think or imagine what could have happened if I didn’t get an opportunity like this. If you are listening, I know you have your own problems, you have your own needs, but think of those kids. They don’t have an option of getting a job at McDonald’s or Walmart. I grew up in a place where I didn’t have an option. My only option was Compassion, or I don’t make it. God brought Compassion to my community when I really needed it. There are a lot of kids who are growing up just like me, and this is their only opportunity. So as you listen to this podcast, God is talking to you and telling you to take a minute and think about somebody you don’t know, may never meet, but who needs you to survive and have a life. It’s personal for me because it saved my life.
I believe in child sponsorship. In fact, we have a whole little bulletin board in my house of the kids we sponsor and Compassion is one of those places we sponsor. The reason why is we believe in their mission. They are about local churches and empowering local people to rise up in their communities. It is real. I have been on the ground with them and seen it. We want you to be a part of the story. We have a goal of finding 100 sponsors, so these kids can be given the gift of education and meeting their basic needs. There are two ways you can do that:
On your phone, text “Jennie” to 83393 and Compassion will text you a picture of a child and a link. You can click that link and follow the steps to start sponsoring. It’s so simple!
The other option is go to compassion.com/madeforthis and you can see a bonus video from the episode of more of my conversation with Jey. You can also choose the exact boy or girl you want to sponsor.
We have a fun gift for you too! If you sponsor a kid using either of these links, you're going to get a free copy of Get Out of Your Head sent to you. You might already have it, but this one can be for your friend or neighbor. We just wanted to thank you in some way for being a part of this story with us! Do not miss this opportunity. It can cause a lot of change.
