What You Need When You Feel Hopeless with Nick Vujicic
We are talking about all the different emotions we’ve felt during this season, and I would say one has been, on certain occasions, hopeless. Almost none of us have similar situations like Nick, who we’re going to talk to today. You all know my friend hopefully from IF:Gathering. If you don’t, you need to go buy his book and watch his videos right this minute!
Tell us a little bit about your story to get us started.
Jennie it’s an honor and a privilege to catch up to you. For those of you who don’t know, I was born without arms and legs. Our non-profit organization based in California is called Life Without Limbs and little did I know how difficult some times during childhood and adolescent years would be, but I always had “life without limbs” instead of life without hope. God made sure that I would have loving parents who would fear him, love him, serve him, and trust him with their limbless boy. They had no idea I was going to be born this way. My doctor said I wouldn’t walk or be able to go to school, but little did they know that God would use my mom to change the education system laws to allow special needs integration into the school system in Victoria, Australia. I grew up with 24 first cousins around me - I’m from a Serbian/European family and we went to church every Sunday, my dad was a preacher, and I thought I knew it all. But when I went to school with everyone else who had more than me, I started questioning why me? Why was I born this why? No one knew why I was born this way. So I’m going through school and I’m obviously not able to participate in all the school activities with everyone which made me spend time forcefully one-on-one with the teachers. I realized they weren’t there for fun and this was their job. Mom and dad have a job, but I probably won’t get a job. They got married, but I’m probably not going to get married. If I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life, what hope is there for me? I went through depression and attempted suicide at age 10. The climax of that depression was because of bullying at school and when I was 13, for a short amount of time, I played soccer and hurt my little foot really bad so that I couldn’t walk for 3 weeks. I remember looking at the ceiling while I was healing and thinking, I have a choice. I can either be angry for what I don’t have or thankful for what God did give me. Finally, my biggest question to God of why I was born this way, was answered when I was 15. I was reading John 9 where the man was born blind and no one knew why. Jesus said it was done so that the works of God would be revealed through him, and then he healed the man. What really changed my life was not another miracle. What changed my life was Jesus when he said said he was going to display the splendor and the works of God. So I said, “hey God, if you give me arms and legs I will serve you and live for you for the rest of my life. But if you don’t give me arms and legs, I will live for you and serve you for the rest of my life.” I knew that the greatest disability I had was the soul and the sin and the fear and death - all these things Jesus can rescue us from.
Nick and I met for the first time in a small group at a Christian conference. I had heard your story and we sat next to you, and I thought I was gonna help you and kinda be there for you. You didn’t have anybody with you in this circle and so I was like, “what do you need? How can I help?” I kept trying to help you and you would look at me and just laugh. You’ve gotta understand y’all that he does not have arms or legs, but he can do anything! He was sitting there texting this morning. The guy has not slowed down. You are one of the most joyful people I know. You are so joyful. You are so happy to see me everytime I see you. Talk about that joy specifically. Even on a normal day, what goes through your head? Talk to us about the psychology of choosing joy everyday. Then I want to just talk about reality. You have two kids and a wife and a busy life, so let’s hear about the realities first and then maybe the Tuesday morning thoughts.
I now have 4 kids with my wife.
That’s right you had twins!
Yeah, so we doubled up pretty quickly. First of all, I’m joyful to see you because I love you! I’ve been looking forward to seeing you and catching up for forever. I feel like I’ve known you forever, and you haven’t even met my wife - I can’t wait for you to know her. We have a book called Love Without Limits, if you’re curious about how a courageous woman felt convicted to marry a man with limbs, that story is in a book. I’ll tell you this: when you look at the joy from me I just want you to know, and I have no problem being fully transparent, but 2020 was a very difficult year for us. Ministry wise, we haven’t really slowed down. We’ve just had to reset digitally. We went from 20% digitally to 80% digitally. But my for-profit companies have really suffered. The joyful Nick Vujicic kind of went numb for two weeks and I wasn’t myself - this was around March - then I had two weeks of panic because I had no idea what this looks like. Then six weeks of feeling like I was just floating, because I had no idea what was going on. I think that’s a lot of people in 2020 around the world. I never doubted that Jesus would eventually tell me what he wanted me to do. I never doubted that in the end I’ll be thankful. I know that! I know the fires he’s brought me through. But in the moment, I’ve had to do four things to survive.
Actually face and embrace what I feel. I think when people suppress or ignore or deny what they feel, it is the most unhealthy thing you can do. It is possible that a Christian who has full faith in Jesus goes through full-fledged depression. There’s a couple people in the Bible who do that! But you have to embrace and deal with what you’re feeling. When people see me, they think of my parents. When my parents saw me for the first time, they had to deal with their emotions. The shock, the grief, the denial. All these things that were really difficult for them to get over and face.
The second thing was figuring out what I can change and what I can’t change, then you do what you can.
Be okay to change your short-term, mid-term, and long-term goals.
The 4th thing is just going one day at a time. And talk to people. We’ve missed one of the greatest gifts of God that is given us, and that’s your family. In our family of God, we can talk about life, not just about Covid or politics, but just talk.
I wish they’d never called it social distancing - Singapore has changed it to safe distancing. We’re social beings! I’ve had to apply all four of those things to my life, and go back to the basics. Reminding myself that God is everything I could ever need and ever want. The reason why I put these four things together is in these last few months, there have been times I couldn’t pray for myself. What I realized is the power of prayer. I think in the West, we have watered down and domesticated and missed the power of fasting. I mean fasting without food, not like TV and music. Food. In January, my New Year’s Resolution for 2020 was to make sure that every month I was fasting from food for a stretch of days. January was 7 days, February was 3 days, March was 7 days - and I kept rotating that count of days. You know why? Because I realized that up until I met my wife, we were taking so much territory for the devil. We’re talking millions of people hearing the gospel, up until now. 733 million people digitally. 1.1 million people face to face and gave their life to Jesus. You can’t do that without angering the devil! When you’re at war, you need to put your armor on. There are some things that come your way that only fasting breaks. I’ve actually gotten back into that rhythm. I haven’t fasted like that since I met my wife, but I’ve gotten back into it this year. This year has been about our own survival. There were times I couldn’t even pray for myself, but I could fast from food and ask other people to pray for me. Going back to the basics of praying for more than 3 ½ minutes. I pray 12 minutes a day, because I write out what I pray for. I fast 7 or 3 days a month. I’m not saying that to say, “look at how holy I am.” I’m saying that because we need to go back to the basics that are taught through scripture to help us recalibrate every month or every week. Covid has revealed how much we have put our own trust in our routine, in our pastors, in the church, without having our own walk with Jesus and doing these spiritual disciplines and being with him. It is such a good recalibration for even the strongest of believers. I am so excited to share with you that 2020 has been such a recalibration. I didn’t feel joy for about 3 months this year. Do I love my family? Yes. Do I trust in God? Yes. Did I go through anxiety that robbed me of my joy? Yes. But even in deep, deep, deep peace and rest and secure faith, that doesn’t always feel joyful. But it’s beautiful. Eventually you get through the other side of the valley.
I love what you’re saying. Some of you know from Get Out Of Your Head that fasting was a turning point in my struggle with doubt and having friends fast and pray with me. We don’t talk about fasting enough these days because it can feel extreme, but it is biblical and we’re called to do it. Choosing to do that through this year feels so important. Thank you for being so candid! I’m so grateful that you struggle, because knowing you, it’s easy to think you don’t! You’re showing us that you’re human and this is a war and it’s an ongoing war. It’s not something we defeat one day - we fight it all of our lives. You can’t just let waves of grief or hopelessness wash over you. You have to stand up and fight and ask people to fight for you. Here’s my next question: some people are listening and thinking, “I’m not utterly hopeless. I just feel down. I just feel kind of eh.” You can kind of survive like that. Where you’re not feeling in the pit of despair, but you’re still kind of down. I think there’s a general fog over all of us from the pandemic that isn’t necessarily depression (for some of it is) but for a lot of us it’s just a lethargic feeling. Talk about that, because that’s where a lot of people are. And that’s a tactic from the enemy too!
100%. Do you think Joseph in prison had a fog? Do you think some of the other Bible characters had a fog in their mind at times? I think they may have. We need those times where we feel so desperate for God, but sometimes it feels like a fog where we need him to wake us up. However, I also believe that we need to give ourselves time. Just like we mourn over somebody, we never stop missing them. When something stops and a person you love is gone, you feel displaced. You feel numb. You have a fog. But it’s okay to feel that humanness. But when you feel that, you pray and read your Bible and fast. Ask someone to fast for you! I love how you did that. It’s actually one of the greatest gifts you could ever give to someone. To look someone in the eye and say “I’m fasting for you” is incredibly meaningful. That is love. For anyone who feels unmotivated and you can’t find the strength to peal yourself off the floor - first of all you’re not alone there. God is with you there as well. Give yourself time. You’re grieving what you used to have and questioning everything. Everybody has their own opinions on Covid and everything that’s going on, but we should not be praying that things go back to normal. I’m not praying Covid goes away or praying for a revival as much as I’m praying this: “God, show us what you want us to do. Show us what you want us to learn. Show us how this is the greatest opportunity to tell someone about Jesus.” Anyone you know who doesn’t know Jesus is worshipping an idol. Their job, their ability to supply money, worshipping entertainment, worshipping stability, worshipping their own intellect, worshipping themselves. We’re all being stripped away from all of that. This is the time where you can share your history as his story. This is the time you talk to your neighbors and friends at school. This is the time the church has to look at itself in the mirror naked. We’re seeing what works and we’re seeing what doesn’t. I feel that the greatest ministries that will be flourishing over the next 10 years will be the churches and the ministries who understand the importance of not just small groups, but one-on-one. I do a Zoom Bible study every Thursday with my best friends, but we need each other. We need one-on-one contact. There are still 32,000 homeless in LA. There are still 30 million sex slaves in the world. There are still ½ million kids waiting for adoption. There are 100,000 churches in America with $½ trillion worth of debt from buildings which are empty right now. This is where the rubber hits the road.
Thank you for coming on the podcast Nick! This was such a gift and the pep talk we all needed right now!
