Isolation vs. Connection
Too many of us are living lonely. We talk a lot about connectedness together - the whole first season of Made For This podcast is about relationships. Make sure you go back and listen to that whole season, because relationships is not something that can be covered in one episode! Connectedness and relationships is probably the greatest, most life changing thing that can ever happen to you. Having deep, connected, real relationships will completely transform your life.
Our bodies were actually built for connection with people. Have you ever heard of something called mirror neurons? This is when you're sitting across from somebody else and they share something with you and they have a very sad face and all of a sudden you mirror their face. You are sad with them. There’s something coming from your brain that is telling you to empathize with them. God put that in us because he knew that we had to do life together.
I struggled with doubt for 18 months, and it really turned into a crisis fo my faith. I would be preaching about Jesus from a stage and in the back of my mind the whole time I was asking myself, is this even true? In fact, when I was about to release Get Out Of Your Head, my editor warned me about people thinking I was a hypocrite for preaching Jesus while doubting if my faith was even real. I told her I wasn’t worried about that. Because I stand on the same faith that I stood on when I was saved and that’s the faith I will stand on when I am before Jesus. That faith is not held in place by me. God is big enough to handle doubt. I believe God was fighting for me in that season, while I was working out my salvation and coming to a deeper understanding of Him. I always wanted my faith to be true, but there was a real fight going on within me. But I stood on truth every time I preached.
The one place I gave into the enemy’s attack during that season was being completely isolated. I never brought anybody into it. I never said out loud the thoughts I was thinking. I never told my husband. I never told my small group, even though I met with them weekly. I was in deep relationship with people. I could have said it out loud. I could have even texted. But evil is subtle and it comes for us and we barely notice. Evil loves to not be noticed. It wants to sneak up on us, tell us lies, and it doesn't want to be noticed. So for 18 months I didn't notice it. I just sat there in it. But as we notice our thoughts and as we notice the lies that we've been believing, we need to say those things out loud.
The second I said it out loud, chains began to fall out. In that moment, I realized how stupid it sounded. Of course I believe in God! I also realized in that moment that I was under spiritual attack. After that, my friends began to go to war for me. They began to fight for me like my life and faith depended on it. They did not take it lightly. You guys have to know how vulnerable that was for me. To have friends fasting and praying, like not eating food for 24 hours to fight for my faith, that felt really hard to receive. But I was so desperate that I needed it. Another friend stayed up one night with me until 2:00 in the morning helping me voice these lies, the effects they were having on me, and where some of those lies came from. I remember feeling guilty of receiving so much of her time and her fighting for me. But I needed her. I look back and I don't know that I'd be free without those friends fighting for me. I had a small little bitty army that fought for me, my husband being at the top of the list. Once he realized what was happening, he would wake up and pray for me. He would pray before we go to sleep. We have to have those people that love us, that know us, that we can call it any hour and tell anything to. Our enemy knows that if he has us alone in the dark with our thoughts, he can get us. But if we bring people that love Jesus into it, we have invited the truth and the light into it and no longer are we alone with the devil.
John 1:7 says, “if we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus, his son cleanses us from all sin.” Life happens in the light. It happens in community. It happens in local churches. It happens in small groups and Bible studies. But the truth is, even if we have some of those things in our life, we aren’t actually confessing our sin. When John's talking about the light, he's talking about confession. He's saying you bring things to the light. Don't hide him in the dark. Why? Because the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin, because he has power over the sin and we experience that freedom. Now I believe my sin would have been forgiven by God if I'd never brought it into confession and into the light, but I don't believe I'd experienced freedom on earth. I don't believe I'd be reminded of the truth of God unless I brought people in.
We started this whole series talking about Corinthians and that we have divine weapons to destroy strongholds. Part of that weapon is community. The reason community is such a powerful weapon is because God is in me. If I trust in Jesus Christ, then He indwells you by the Holy Spirit. Where two or more are gathered, God is there and there is a supernatural thing happening in community. There's a unity and a power that comes when we are together. You cannot deny it. I've seen it again and again through IF:Gathering. I get to go visit you in your cities and places, and you’ll line up all the people that are discipled by you. All the people you’ve done life with. You’ll all cry about the things you’ve walked through together: cancer, divorce, infidelity, and more. You’ll tell me how you fought for each other, and there is a supernatural power there. Even though you're telling me the darkest, most horrible things that you've been through. You've fought for each other and it's changed your lives. There's joy and peace that marks your lives when you are in deep community together. We all need this. This is not optional. God himself is in community. The trinity is a community of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. How much more do we need community if God himself is in it? He built us for is. We are image bearers of God, and that’s how he designed us.
God says in Genesis after he built Adam that it’s not good for man to be alone. It’s not good for any of us! We tend to think being isolated or not having great friends is not a big deal. Loneliness is an epidemic in our culture. If there’s one thing I could shift in your mind, I would make you understand that this is a big deal. That this matters. That you’re at the center of a war. That when we choose isolation rather than connection, we are allowing the enemy to win in our lives.
One of the main themes in Get Out Of Your Head is interruption. We can’t always interrupt a feeling, but we can interrupt our thoughts. You can actually stop thinking about something. We are not victims to our minds. We can actually redirect our thoughts. We can change our mindset. One of the most powerful ways we can redirect our thoughts is to allow somebody to interrupt it for us. While I was writing the book, there was a day that I had to go edit and I was so discouraged. I was totally spiraling out. So I made a choice - I called my friend Callie. I told her everything I was feeling, my thoughts, even the really ugly ones. It felt pretty embarrassing and vulnerable. She asked me what project I was working on that had me so discouraged, so I told her it was this book. Get Out Of Your Head started as a Bible study, and she had helped me teach it at our local church. After I said that, something flipped in her. She said, “this book is going to change lives! The power of God is on this! It changed my own life.” She started fighting for me. She speaked so much life and truth over me, and got me out of my spiral. If I wouldn't have called her, I would've sat in that for days. Instead, I sat it in for a couple hours. We need people to fight for us. We need people that are fierce and that are warriors and that will get their hands dirty for us. We also have to be those friends. The best friends are ones that have gone through a lot of hurts. We can’t quit relationships when they get hard. That’s what builds depth and maturity.
Who can you fight for today? Call or text a friend, and ask them to coffee. Listen to them and fight for them. Bring the anxious thoughts guide we created for you and go through it together. Get vulnerable with each other, and then fight for them. It might not go well. Your friend might not want to be vulnerable, or will say something hurtful. But you go try again. Because we can’t live without each other. Go first.
