Overcoming Stress and Anxiety

With Bethany Hamilton

Bethany Hamilton’s story is one of survival and triumph against all odds. This professional surfer, writer, and mom is living proof that you can, indeed, do it all. Bethany survived a shark attack at the tender age of 13, and she has since used her story of courage and resilience to inspire others.

Bethany has written a book titled ‘Be Unstoppable: The Art of Never Giving Up’ based on her story of surfing past fear. She recently had a chat with Jennie on the ‘Made for This’ podcast about her healing journey and the joys and challenges of motherhood. This is the edited interview:

Jennie: Tell us a bit about your story and what you're passionate about these days.

Bethany: I was born and raised in Hawaii into a surfing family. Both my parents loved the ocean and taught me and my older brothers how to surf at a young age. I also grew up in a house of faith. So, I was super blessed to have God as part of my life and develop my childlike faith at a young age.

I lost my arm to a shark when I was 13, and then I kept surfing after that. I've continued to pursue the life I want to live since then. I'm about to have my fourth child now. And I'm grateful to God for my life, including all the good, the bad, and the beautiful.

Jennie: What has this season of motherhood been like for you?

Bethany: I always wanted to be a mom. But I was kind of disappointed when I first found out I was pregnant. That was weird to me because I grew up in a Christian home, and I always wanted to have children. But I was startled when it happened.

A lot of that was coming from a place of selfishness and wanting to do my thing instead of allowing God to lead my life. And thank God that I had my first child when I did because I love my son. Life only got that much better and sweeter. We continued to live a normal life but brought along our firstborn for the ride.

Motherhood has taught me probably more than anything in life. It's been feeling pretty hard lately because my two-year-old is quite challenging. It’s typical toddler behavior. He's a ray of sunshine one minute and then you're being stretched to your limits the next minute.

I love motherhood, and I have a great husband who's a super hands-on father. So, that makes it much more fun.

Jennie: You’re typically described as resilient. What does that word mean to you? Resilience is probably the most needed thing in the world because we are constantly hit with things that can bring about anxiety and fear. Where has that come from for you?

Bethany: Some people are born with more resilience depending on their childhood or personality. But I believe that resiliency can be grown and nourished. To me, resilience means you keep going, even when times are hard. It’s when you keep looking for the good, even when there's a lot of bad going on. You adapt, adjust, and make tweaks along the way so that you can keep going when things don't feel like they're working.

I naturally have a lot of grit and learning to surf with one arm at 13 years old helped me further develop that resilience.

I always attribute most of my resiliency to my faith because my hope is in Someone greater than myself. It's in God, His grace, His redemption, and Him overcoming all the darkness of the world on my behalf. But surfing taught me a lot too.

I feel like there are several choices we can make to lessen some of the challenges we're dealing with. I think we need a whole-body approach that begins with faith, followed by nutrition, prioritizing sleep, family, and relationships. Letting go of things that don't help your life move forward can help ease that anxiety.

We’ve also normalized unhealthy behavior that exacerbates our anxiety. As women, we have especially normalized surviving on coffee instead of getting the nutrients we so need for our physical and mental health. So, we have to become our own problem solvers because no one else will do it for us. Just because something is ‘normal’ doesn’t mean it’s good for you.

Jennie: Talk about watching your kids learn resilience. Your kids are at the age where everything's new, and it feels like you let them take risks. Has it been fun to watch them?

Bethany: I'm not a hover mother because letting them learn from their mistakes is important. It's been so fun watching them. My personality is different from theirs. So, it's interesting working with them and trying not to impress my approach but letting them figure out their own.

I don't feel like I'm at a place where I can like give mothering advice, but it has been really fun to just learn from them, figure out what works for them, and support them in a way that helps them move forward, shine, and be their more resilient selves.

I have found this balance of pushing them a little and nudging them in a certain direction, but also not overdoing that. Although I nudge them in some directions, I want them to find things they love and are naturally motivated to go after. It’s about finding the dynamics with each child and your family. 

Jennie: There's so much anxiety right now, and I think you represent the opposite of that. Talk a bit about the choices y'all are making as a family and how nature plays a part in that.

Bethany: My childhood was spent just rambling around in nature. I was either surfing, going snorkeling, just playing in the water, or running around the yard with my friends. With the modernization of society, so much has changed. But my husband and I have chosen to limit screen time for our kids to maintain their childhood as much as possible. Our kids spend a lot of time in nature and away from devices.

We watch a movie once or twice a month. We look up animals on YouTube once a week. We use devices very minimally in our household. We allow our children to just be creative. We're also choosing to homeschool without stacking their schedule. We also just try to feed them nutritious food. Nutrition can play a big role in your resilience and ability to handle chaos or stress.

We’ve prioritized getting more quality time as a family as well. So, we’re constantly eating, reading, and playing games together.

Our kids need more time with us, and that's what I always recognize in my mom. She gave me so much of her time throughout my childhood and teenage years. That gave me the confidence to face everything I faced, from losing my arm and becoming famous to pursuing a professional career and traveling the world by myself as a young woman.

After 2020 and 2021, I decided to watch less news. I realized that I don't need to know everything going on in the world. Now, I'm not saying we must let it all go, but we need to minimize it so that we're not constantly stressed.

Jennie: Your kids are at that age where you're probably wanting them to have their own relationship with God. What does that look like for you guys?

Bethany: Being consistent and reading God's word to our children has been a great start. Reading the Word of God is important for your kids. My mom always read the Bible to me, primarily Psalms and Proverbs because they’re the easiest books.

We also try to live by example. We pray together and try to have a  Bible study on most mornings. Thankfully, our life is slow enough that we can do that.

If your faith in God is something you want to instill in your children, you have to speak that into their lives. One thing that's impacted our lives is the grace of God. God reminds us that He has overcome all the sin, death, and darkness of the world. Therefore, His grace is sufficient for us. And so, when you feel like you've failed as a wife or a mother, remember that God's grace is sufficient.

You want your children to be well-behaved and respectful. You also want them to have fun and pursue things they love. But they're not perfect. And so, having grace on them and living that out daily is so important.

Jennie: You’ve recently started a mother-daughter gathering for teens and their parents. Talk about that passion.

Bethany: My heart is for the teenage girls alongside their mothers because moms are the number one in their teenage girls’ lives. And if they're not, the goal is to get them to be number one. So, I have a faith-based mentorship program where we talk about a lot of the hard subjects many moms don't want to talk to their teenage daughters about.

We talk about drugs, alcohol, boys, relationships, anxiety, stress, and relationship conflict. Some women come and hang out for a four-day retreat with me in Hawaii. And others are just online. It's been so exciting. It's like a dream come true for me because I've had a heart for teenage girls in America for so long.

We're covering things that either sometimes the mom doesn't think about or doesn't know how to deal with. It's awesome, fun, and life-giving for me and a lot of moms.

Jennie: As we close, speak directly to the teen girls.

Bethany:  Girls, you're beautiful. You have value and worth in this world. There's so much good and fun to be had out there. And so, I'm just cheering you on to find good fun that's beautiful and life-giving.

Know that you can overcome whatever challenges you're facing in your life. You have a God who loves you and is waiting to be a part of your journey. You likely have an awesome family supporting you too. So, allow them to be part of it too. Know that you can overcome those days when you feel down. There's more to life for you. So, focus on the good and beautiful and become your own problem solver.

If you want to follow along with Bethany's journey and her family, you can find more resources, courses, and books from her on her website.