When God Doesn’t Change Your Circumstances
With Katie Davis Majors
Years ago, I was radically transformed by following someone else's obedience story – the story of Katie Davis Majors. She has become a dear friend since, and she's a sister in faith. Without Katie surrendering, I don't think I would have opened my heart and life to God in the same way. Katie is one of the people who discipled me, blessed me, and helped me grow in faith.
Our lives have changed immensely since our spiritual journeys began. She is now a wonderful mom, a New York Times best-selling author, and the founder of Amazima Ministries in Uganda. Although we’re friends, it still felt surreal to speak to her about her ministry, living in Uganda, and dealing with change. This is our edited interview:
Why don't we start with the beginning of your story? Let’s journey back to your 20s and where God called you to surrender.
Katie: Early in my life, surrender looked big. I surrendered a lot of life dreams, hopes, and affluent American life to serve in Uganda. I fell in love with that place and more importantly, with the people. I built my entire life there, which was later joined by my kids and husband. That surrender looked huge in the eyes of the world, and it was hard in a lot of ways. But it was easier because it felt like a grand adventure.
I was 19 or 20 years old when this journey started, and surrender might be slightly easier at that point because we know a bit less about what our life will look like. It felt equally big, scary, and exciting. But I feel like God has called me to a much quieter surrender in the last 10 years.
The last many years have looked like surrendering my children and letting God know that I believe He loves and knows them more than I do. That is hard, and it’s an internal surrender that not everybody gets to see.
You planned to live in Uganda forever, and you adopted children there. You were essentially called to reverse-give up things when you returned to the US. How has that journey been for you?
Katie: I began fostering when I was very young. I started with three girls and that eventually went up to 13 Girls who are all sibling sets. My husband and I then legally adopted them. We went on to have two more biological kids. So, we have 15 kids.
We built our lives deeply in Uganda, had a precious community, and built our ministry there. Now we have over 300 staff and we're about to cross the mark of 1000 kids going into the two schools we have. My husband pastored our church there, and we were rooted in a way that I loved.
There were hard times, but I loved our life and the people there. It's been about a year and a half since God made it abundantly clear that we were to be in the United States for a season. God has given us great gifts and provided for us well here, but I have kicked and screamed against that because I surrendered everything to move toward what He had called me to in Uganda. And so, moving to the next thing He might be calling us to felt a bit unfair.
Talk a bit about the fears and anxieties you describe in ‘Safe All Along: Trading Our Fears and Anxieties For God’s Unshakeable Peace.’ Where did this book come from for you?
Katie: A lot of things contributed to the start of my anxiety. That was very unsettling for me because I don’t remember ever feeling anxious before.
Despite knowing all the right scripture about casting our anxieties to Jesus and not letting our hearts be troubled, my heart was still deeply troubled.
I believe what the Bible says to be true, but I did not feel it in a way that deeply impacted my decision-making. I went from fearlessness to agonizing over what was for dinner, and I barely even knew myself. We weren’t sure about how we would rebuild in the US. Of course, God has been so faithful to meet me there.
We often think happiness or changed circumstance is the end goal.
We’ll say we surrender and trust God, but there's that false theology at the back of our heads that expects things to be better because we’ve surrendered. Although that is true at a heart level, that’s not the case circumstantially.
The changed circumstance isn't the prize, Jesus is.
I think we surrender because we want more of Him. Jesus is faithful to give that even when the outward circumstance gets worse. I felt like things weren't getting better, and the change was so disorienting. But we surrender because we want to experience Jesus more deeply.
There are a lot of circumstances in my life that I pray will change, but they’re out of my control. My surrender has invited Jesus into my life in a different way, and more of Jesus is worth it, even if the circumstance keeps getting worse.
There's such a tie to control and anxiety. Talk about that tie for you and how you've seen letting go of control of your life decrease anxiety.
Katie: There's a part of my brain that believes that things will go well for me if I can keep everything in control. I can’t quantify the amount of time my poor brain spends making plans that never happen, imagining worst-case scenarios, and then making plans for how we're going to deal with the worst-case scenarios. But so much brain space is freed up when I constantly take those thoughts to Jesus. Leaving those thoughts with Jesus allows me to be in the moment.
I’ve tried to let go of that need for control by thinking of how I want to be remembered when this life is over. I don't want to be remembered for how busy I was making sure everything was just right.
I want to be remembered for loving and encouraging people well. And I've got to be present to do those things.
I’m continually surrendering those thoughts to Christ. I notice now when I'm making a plan for two months from now. I’m retraining my brain to recognize what I can steward well today. So, I try to reframe those plans for nonexistent scenarios into something I can do now.
Let's talk about why you missed Africa. Our lives in the US are generally complicated and cluttered, which contributes to anxiety. Can you talk about the simplicity of life in Uganda?
Katie: Everything was much slower and simpler. I don't love stereotypes or generalizations, but I think American culture generally values time above relationships. The Ugandan culture generally values relationships above time. So, it’s appropriate to be a few minutes late because you spent that time having a conversation with somebody who knocked on your door.
In American culture, it's more appropriate to rush out of a conversation because you’re running late for something. When I moved back here, I was always late for everything. So, I was always in a hurry. It felt like there wasn't time to deeply connect with people. And that's one of the things my heart missed the most.
When someone comes to your house in Uganda, you make them a cup of tea, and then you sit with them and listen. We don't have the space for that in our day in the US. Part of this is probably because we lived in a really small town in Uganda, and now we live in Nashville.
A lot of our circles overlapped, meaning we spent more time together and were in the same circles as a family. When we got here, I wanted my kids to have community. But we were all accidentally making separate communities. Then we were never hanging out together because we weren’t in the same circles.
I thought I was working very hard on intentionality all these years, but in reality, Ugandan culture was built in a way that supported my intentionality. And here, I still want to work hard on that intentionality and connectedness, but it's a lot of work.
So, how do we build simpler, smaller lives? How have you made intentional choices to keep life as simple as possible?
Katie: We're still figuring it out. God has been unbelievably kind to give us a church and a small group that we love. And we're all in it together. We're all trying to make the same intentional choices. I think finding people who want the same thing is a big part of it because all of us are going to make time for each other. We're going to stop by each other's houses unannounced, for example. That was one thing I missed the most when we moved.
Nobody was coming to my house, and we had such a revolving door of people in Uganda. And so, I'm thankful for people in my small group who have taken me seriously and stopped by my house. Sometimes you have to do it first, even if it feels awkward.
Katie is right! You’ve got to find the people who want that human connection. It takes time and work, but it can happen. Just don't give up. We're looking at an entire society that's lonely and anxious. We fight that through human connection. You can find Katie’s book on Amazon to read more about her story!
