Finding Your People in an Isolated World
We were never meant to live in isolation.
Instead, we were designed to live in the context of community.
We’re living in a lonelier place than humans have in a long time. With more tech advancements and internet availability, we’re more isolated from each other. Social media has somehow found a way to both connect and isolate us.
Not too long ago, most people lived in small villages where they all took care of each other and shared resources. This is completely different from how we live today. Many of us live in urban settings with a few friends spread out across town. Therefore, we need to build a different way of doing life by recreating that village-like setting in our communities.
[We’re not meant to live alone.]
It's the first thing God said about Adam after He set him on the earth (Genesis 2:18). Hence, He gave him a helper in Eve.
When we lean into the way God has called us to live, we find that we’re most full, satisfied, and closely able to walk with Him.
Part of that is building a community that loves and supports us.
The book of Proverbs describes friendship as a gift and delight to our bones. We’re not meant to deal with difficult situations alone because our hearts were built to experience God in the midst of community. So, we've got to shift something about the way we do life.
Anxiety has crippled us as a generation, resulting in more conflict and isolation. We need to form relationships outside the confines of the internet. This starts with noticing the people who are already in our lives.
Historical and biblical context gives us five things that build thriving relationships and friendships. While not all five are required for a healthy relationship, you need at least three.
These are proximity, vulnerability, accountability, mission, and consistency.
So, how do you find your people?
If you want friends, you’ll have to take initiative. A simple conversation with that one person you always see at the grocery store could lead you to a lifetime of friendship.
Start connecting with the people around you. Eventually, you’ll find people whose company you enjoy and those who share your interests. Find people who interest you and seem equally interested in you.
Highlight maybe ten people you can imagine investing in a deeper relationship with and write out their names. Ask them to hang out, go on a walk, go to coffee, or spend time in your home. Ask them to be in your life. All it takes is a really small invitation.
The meaning and richness of life are found in relationship with each other.
We have to see and know each other and understand what we're going through. Just like Ecclesiastes says, the burden gets lighter when we carry it together (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). And God built a different way for us to do this.
The first and best place to find a rich, deep community is in our local churches. Invest, initiate, and serve there so that we can live out the call of scripture. If you have yet to find a healthy local church, your community might be other like-minded believers around you. Eventually, community will become part of who you are and how you live.
It's our love for one another that is going to compel people to want our God (John 13:34-35). I don't believe that any other choices you make outside of following Jesus will matter more than your choice to live in submission with intentionality and deep community.
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Find Your People today!
